One of the certainties in life is that we all eventually make foolish mistakes, given enough time. These mistakes will occur in our professional and in our personal lives. Many times, these mistakes result from our personality. Do you recognize these personalities?

• The aggressive, dominating personality gets mad and pushes too hard for results;
• The optimistic influencer brags, and continually makes commitments he can’t possibly fulfill;
• The sanguine steady avoids confrontation by concocting dishonest compromises;
• And the picky compliant points out his Manager’s mistakes at the wrong time.

Adversity is defined as misfortune, suffering, or an extreme hardship. Ultimately, each of us will face adversity at some point in our lives. Adversity, death, and taxes are the three constants in each of our lives. It’s not a matter of “if,” but “when.” And those who don’t learn from adversity end up with greater frustration and anxiety when it rears its ugly head again.

But adversity also provides the opportunity for change. Winston Churchill advised, “Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.” Here are the basic steps for personal growth through adversity.

1. Admit responsibility — A personal example. A rep gave me a competitive contract to review; it was ending an initial term. I neglected to ask for a letter of cancellation immediately and by the time I got around to it, the contract was automatically activated by an evergreen clause for another year. The customer physically sent the cancellation only two days later, but I had blown it!

2. Avoid rationalizing — I reviewed the contract several times looking for good reasons to divert my responsibilities and rationalize the loss of the contract, and I found several reasons. But what example would I have set if I avoided my part of the debacle?

3. Seek forgiveness — For me, this is most difficult! The rep and my boss were both gracious: they identified with my situation, each claiming responsibility for not catching my omission.

4. Accept consequences — I visited the customer and addressed the situation. Because of my integrity, he pre-signed a contract effective at the end of the competitive year extension.

There have been several incidents in my life — sleepless nights and anxious moments — caused by mistakes; when I applied these steps for handling adversity to those mistakes I was able to rise above them. Mac Anderson, founder of Simple Truths, perhaps said it best, “In my 64 years on this earth, I have come to realize that the difference in our success or failure is not change, but choice. When adversity strikes, it’s not WHAT happens that determines our destiny; it’s HOW we react to what happens.”